I have everything going for me. It almost freaky how everything after graduating university went so smoothly according to what I had always wanted. It was so easy…too easy. I even questioned if something was wrong with me. How typical of me to look for something negative even in the most positive situations. I questioned if I deserved all of this. Shouldn’t I have had to go through some sort of struggle or hardship first? The truth is, I don’t know the real meaning of struggle or hardship as I’ve never had to go through anything truly difficult. Or maybe I have been so good from hiding from difficulty. Trouble can’t find me. Or so it seems. I wonder if it makes me weak. Like the chick who doesn’t struggle to break free from it’s shell, doesn’t get to strengthen its muscles and gain knowledge about fighting for survival and ultimately becomes too weak for the world and dies. I wonder if someone helped me out of my shell so much that when I am faced with a real trial I will not be able to fend for myself. I know it’s ludacris to wish suffering upon myself but God seems to like to use suffering to test people’s strength and to build their faith. Look at what he did to Noah, to Moses, to Job, to Jesus! But he hasn’t used me in that way. And based on these historical examples, I find it hard to see where I fit in. People turn to God in suffering. I need to learn to turn to him in faithfulness, in gratitude and in obedience. This for some reason is harder. Isn’t easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God? So it’s easy then…all I need is some discipline. Something I’ve never been too good at. I have a bad temper. I eat too much. I shop too much.