Yesterday at work, two new cooks tried playing "Name her ethnicity" with me.

Here are the common comments I often hear after people find out I am biracial.
Please take note of them and don't ever ask me any of the following.

Q#1. You look exotic...what nationality are you?
A: Firstly, Exotic is a derrogatory word to imply that I am some freaky species out of the norm. Secondly, I am Canadian. Did you really mean to ask what ethnicity? am I? Well why didn't you say so? I am Chinese and Scotish.

Q#2: You don't look Chinese at all. Are you sure you're mixed?
A: No dumbass, I made it up to be subjected to your ignorant questions. What do you think?

Q#3: "Ching-chong ping-pong ahhhh"... do you speak Chinese?
A: Nope. I wish I could. I did take Mandarin lessons for a while though.

Q#4: I think mixed oriental girls are hot.
A: WTF?? Did you just call me oriental? What am I? A rug? And thanks for sexualizing my culture...something of which you don't even have the decency to learn about before you categorize us as a whole.

Q#5: You look like Kristan Kruek/Michelle Branch/China Chow.
A: Are those the only biracial girls you know of? Cause I look nothing like any of them.

YEs, I know I sound like a raging cultural psycho, and I should be tolerant of the fact that there are just some people out there who just DON'T KNOW. Honestly... after 22 years of being subjected to these comments.. you just get tired of the same old questions... ya know? Don't get me wrong. I am proud of my heritage and I love talking about my experiences as a biracial woman, but if you are just asking me to make senseless conversatons because you don't have the intelligence or creativity to talk about something other than the way I look, or you just want to ostracise me from the cultural "norm", it's really not impressive nor is it a compliment.

One guy from work, a 19 year old Chinese boy, tried to become my Asian alliance. Not only did he assume I had a "natural" affinity with him because we were the only Chinese people to work there, but he thought he knew me by listing all the possible Chinese stereotypes out there.

E: hehehe.. do you drive a civic? I drive a souped up Accord.
K: No.. actually I don't have a car.. I'm driving my dad's Camry though.
E: oh.. that's cool.. hey u wanna go for a smoke? I bet you smoke menthols like all the asian girls.
K: NO I don't, and I am trying not to smoke anymore, thanks.
E: (on to the next topic) Do you like computers?? I have a XPLX605ghz megapixel, videocard, motherboard, ZXL640hp with LAN connection.. blahblahblabh...
K: Oh, that's nice.. actually, I have no idea wtf you're talking about, but feel free to name off those number-letter combinations of computer parts that I should pretend to understand and take interest in while I'm stuck here waiting for you to make my chocolate brownie for my table. Can you please hurry up? They've been waiting a while now.
E: hehe.. you should come out karaoking with my boys. I think they'd really like you. You're fiesty. We're going on tuesday. They'll probably hit on you like mad, but you'll like them, they're unique.
K: Sweetie...there's absolutely NOTHING unique about young boys trying to hit on you. Thanks but no thanks. And I don't karaoke. (anymore...but he didn't need to know that.)

Yes, we share the same ethnicity. But it does not give you the rights to be my instant best friend. Okay?

Cheers!