I go to a Chinese church. Our English pastor's is a woman. She is also Caucasian. She is a lovely woman who is quirky in her own God-loving nature. She is animated, persistent, and a good speaker. Sharon lived in a Chinese neighbourhood downtown before marrying a Chinese man and embracing a Chinese workplace environment. She is very comfortable with the Chinese community. Sometimes, I find, too comfortable.
During many of her sermons, she will throw in statements like, "Being Chinese, we don't like to admit when we need help." or "We Chinese people are stubborn." or she will randomly use Cantonese phrases. I do not speak any Chinese, but my pastor will often greet me enthusiasticaly in Cantonese..."Zhao san, zhao san."
??? Huh???
Some people laugh at her attempts to use "Chinese" jokes, but for some reason, I cringe everytime she does it. Her statements make me feel uncomfortable inside... reminiscent to the feeling of being in grade one and dealing with kids asking me if my mom was my babysitter.
I am not claiming that she is being racist...I just resent the fact that she has to point out race at all.
For one thing. She cannot possibly understand the Chinese experience firsthand becuase she is White. YEs, she is exposed to the Chinese cutlure all around her, and she fully embraces it, but she will never BE Chinese herself. Making statements as though she were part of the Chinese race only draws attention to the fact that she isn't.
The second thing that disturbs me is the fact that she practically denies the fact that she is White. (She mentioned this to me one time out for dinner. "I didn't like my own culture, so I surrounded myself with other cultures.") I guess I am personally offended by this because I am biracial. I cringe both ways... at her over-contrived "chinese-ness" and her lack of pride in being who she is as a WHite woman. I think that her sermons would be further enriched if she spoke from her own experiences from her own culture to provide a fresh light to the Chinese congregation, rather than plug in watered-down "chinese" stereotypes that she could never fully relate to in the first place.
I am biracial.
I could never claim to be Chinese or Caucasian, because I am both. Not 50/50 (who could claim to be half of something? that's gay) but 100% of both worlds. I would never chose one over the other, or deny one over the other. So it strikes a dischourdant ring on both ends of my culture spectrum each time my pastor makes her Chinese comments. I don't know how to tactfully approach her about this, but the more I think about it, the more I am aware of how much it bothers me.
It's strange how culture can be such a touchy subject. Especially when commented by those outside your own culture.